This is foolish. I shouldn't even be trying this. How can this possibly work if we're not living together. I'm going to look like a desperate stalker. I'm going to get my hopes up again and he's going to get close to coming back and then he's going to retreat AGAIN. My heart's going to be broken AGAIN. This is the old stupid pattern. The dudes who wrote this book should have made a list of nice things to do. Now isn't that dumb? I can't even think of a nice thing to do without help or a suggestion. All my ideas for nice things to do are self serving. I'm the one living at the house the trash is my trash. He takes it to the dump for me. He's THAT nice. If I get trash tags I'm just getting them for myself. To make his niceness easier. Isn't that selfish of me? I'm the one living at the house. I'm responsible for the lawn. Mowing the lawn is something that bugs him but, really, it's my responsibility, isn't it? If he lived here, I could cook him something extra nice. I could make the bedroom dark and cool, remove all the clocks and let him sleep until he couldn't sleep another wink. I could have his truck detailed. I could buy him ten boxes of Peanut Butter Captain Crunch and a gallon of whole milk...I could press his shirts. I can't though. He moved out. He drops in, but he MOVED OUT!
Maybe it doesn't stinkin' matter. Maybe just looking for nice things to do is the point. There's no law against being kind. Maybe just being nice and not complaining or trying to get something in return is the point. Maybe just getting trash tags, finishing the 40 days, and not deleting the blog is the point. Maybe I should read day 3 and figure out what to do about tomorrow.
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