Day 1: Love Is Patient

4/5/10
Day 1 from the Love Dare says:
"THE FIRST PART OF THIS DARE IS FAIRLY SIMPLE. ALTHOUGH LOVE IS COMMUNICATED IN A NUMBER OF WAYS, OUR WORDS OFTEN REFLECT THE CONDITION OF OUR HEART. FOR THE NEXT DAY, RESOLVE TO DEMONSTRATE PATIENCE AND TO SAY NOTHING NEGATIVE TO YOUR SPOUSE AT ALL. IF THE TEMPTATION ARISES, CHOOSE NOT TO SAY ANYTHING. IT IS BETTER TO HOLD YOUR TONGUE THAN TO SAY SOMETHING YOU'LL REGRET." (The Love Dare, 4)

My reaction to this dare vacillated between "Piece of Cake" and "Impossible!" But I did it! I gave up harping a while back...but, I complain - a lot! Passive aggressive crap is my specialty. Martyrdom. Guilt. So, giving up the negativity was hard.

The book asks,
"Did anything happen today to cause anger toward your mate? Were you
tempted to think disapproving thoughts and to let them come out in
words?"

Answer? Oh yeah. One of our old arguments has to do with his job and how tired he is all the time and how he never has time for family stuff. The fourth of July is a very busy time for him. The two tracks my brain takes is - you think you're tired? I'm EXHAUSTED! and you wouldn't be so tired if you said NO once in a while and actually took better care of yourself.

I just listened this time and tried to put myself in his shoes - what must it be like to work so hard for such long hours? I tried to hear him with new ears. I think I might be feeling a bit more compassionate towards him. Maybe.